Fourth Week of Advent
December 18, 2022
Recently, I was made aware of a painting in the Brooklyn Museum called “The Anxiety of Joseph” by James Tissot. When I saw it, I was mesmerized. Here was a young man who had the weight of the world on his shoulders. All the work that had to be done was incidental and not even in his consciousness. “If I do this, it’s bad for her. If I do that, it’s bad for me. What do I do?”
I have been there. You too? A no-win situation, but a choice has to be made. Frozen into inaction. Stomach churning. Hands sweating. “Dear God, what do I do?”
I have a (painful) memory of when I first started my business. It was a small seasonal business at the time and I relied on short-term loans to pay the bills during the winter months. In the second year, in late December, the banker came to my office and told me the loan would not be offered this year. (He used other, stronger words. I won’t tell you what I said.) After he left, the anxiety kicked in hard. “What was I to do?” I had a baby at home who needed diapers and formula. A wife to care for, and a mortgage to pay. The business had bills to pay. Frozen into inaction; my stomach churning, my hands were sweaty. “Dear God, what do I do?”
I won’t bore you with the long version of the story. Suffice it to say that then, and many, many times in the coming years, God gave me the confidence and peace to move forward and provided the solution. So, ya, I can relate to Joseph in this painting.
Today’s Gospel is familiar and we mostly focus on Joseph doing what was best for Mary. But please remember that Joseph surely paid a price himself for doing God’s will. Yes, had he divorced Mary, she and her family would have faced shame and been outcast. But because Joseph said “Yes”, it was HIS family who certainly was the one who became the outcast and was shamed. To marry a women who was pregnant with a baby not his own, was almost as bad as being the woman herself. His friends would have distanced themselves and, as a tradesperson, he most assuredly would have lost business.
When I think about it, this answers a big question that I’ve never really asked: Why did Joseph and Mary not return to Nazareth after Jesus was born? Why did they settle in the region of Capernaum? Perhaps Joseph and Mary chose not to deal with the sideways glances and turned heads they knew they would find in Nazareth. And they didn’t want to expose their child to that intolerance either.
When faced with no-win situations, I have to make a choice. And, like Joseph, I rely on prayer to help me thru the moment. Sometimes, God answers the prayer first and gives me guidance, and other times God confirms my choice after the fact. Either way, I am provided peace and confidence that all will be well.
As a young man, Joseph (and I) could not fully grasp the fullness of God’s mercy. As I look back on my life now, I see the countless moments that the Creator’s mercy saw me thru impossible situations. The peace I hold now was not always there, and, I pray, it’s not nearly as good as it will be in the coming years. I guess that that is the message I take away from Christmas each year and Advent helps me to open my heart to see that message.
This really is the message of Advent – Hope, Peace, Love and Joy. All made possible by God’s mercy. I know that I need to share this message of hope and peace with as many people as I can.
Every Day.